Lilya 4 EVER

This dark brooding docu-drama easily equates to the best work, of the understated director Lukas Moodysson. Soviet bloc russia, in all its post- apocalyptic horror, homes a land bereft of hope, opportunity and overall love. Encased in this is the lead character of Lilya. A child born of a prostitute, her beginning is bleak, with her mother abandoning her for America, leaving her alone and destitute. In comes her saviour 11 year old Volodya, a rejected child who acts a shining light in this, soviet hell hole.

There is no remitting from the bleak world view, as Lilya who is 16 turns to prostitution to keep her and Volodya alive, only as we are lead to watch her slowly be drawn into sex trafficking, and when it didn't seem possible, she falls further down the slipperly slope, and slides into despair.

There is no redemption, which is a shockingly accurate, yet understated crtique on the East European sex trade.

William Peskett

I was having a gander, and i came across this gem by William Peskett.

Mouse

The noises that we make are quite predictable -

the mouse is so ill it can only judder

in its tiny pain.

You said it was so pretty and ran upstairs.

You must have heard the iron on the step,

the lifting of the dustbin lid.

And I was so shocked-

on my fingers the little shame of urine,

the silent bravery of blood.

Thanks The Clinic.

The reason why you're "that guy"

Have you always wondered why no one invites you to those "uber hip" parties? People generally find you strange to hang around? The only love you make is self induced? Why Family guy is "soooo fucking HIlarious"? That's because your'e that guy, and I'll give a clear check list so you make sure, you're not one of those hopeless souls.

1. You're not funny

"Yeah, I'd fuck a rabbit"

Deadpanning life does not replace a personality, and if your try to pull this off, everyone will think your either; rude or retarded. Please stick to Family Guy, with it's RaNdOm quotes, and genius biting social satire. Apart from the fact the T.V show yearns for the eighties, a decade we never knew, or really want to.

FeSitval MAdnesS

Well, the time has come again where we can swim in mud, take drugs and sleep with strangers, yes it's FES-TIV-AL time. The festival you attend is basically a social statement for your age, hierarchy and level of of maturity, and this is how it goes.

Lattiude

You live a pleasant, bohemian lifestyle in suburban Highbury and Islington have two young children listen to Jazz, and have a lassiez-faire attiude to drugs. You probably have loved Belle and Sebastian for years, and basically dropped a load when you found out they were headlining.

All in all your nice folk, but BEWARE, we east londoners are savvy, poor and morally asbsent creatures, and will promptly be breaking and entering your properties during that weekend

( I hope your weekend of weed and expressive dance was worth it).

Glastonbury

The hunting ground for the Rah Rah lot. This overrated bundle of mud should be avoided at all cost, but like that genital warts infection, we kind of can't, so here it goes.

If you've been to Glastonbury since you were my age, I am very happy for you. I also do not give a flying fuck. Just because your old, doesn't mean I want to hear your aged stories,primarily as i envy the one about the threesome in the tent, yeah i know, its was totally different then, no aids blah blah blah. Thanks for that but remember this old fellow, nostalgia is only enjoyed when it's ones own, and i'd rather be creating my own story than listen to yours.

Reading

The number one cause of unplanned middle class teenage pregnancy.

If your from the south and are under 18, you need to go this one at least once. The potent mix of teenage revelry, sex and generally insanity, is a good one, and it's seems to be a bonding experience to all those who has steeped the weary journey, to the three day Armageddon which is Reading. All this is only true if your under twenty, around this age you realise that everyone at the festival is a twat, and setting fire to someones tent isn't funny, it's a prick move.

That rant was hugely self indulgent, but the crux of it is that festivals for we young are not only a weekend away, but also a rite of passage for many, so if go if you can, but if your pushing 25 please stop.

Mr Miyazaki We Pay Homage......

The Waltz Disney of the east, Hayao Miyazaki has for too long been ignored by western eyes. A man who has personally drawn and supervised all of his feature films ( a claim Waltz Disney could never adhere to), is surely the greatest Anime director/director period of all time. His exuberant take on life and his odd penchant for Lynch-like fatalism makes him a perfect candidate for scenester adoration. The pimp daddy has produced many cult classics, from My Neighbour Totoro to Princess Monoke( google now). But a must watch is "Spirited Away".

Commonly quoted as one the greatest anime flicks ever, the use of colour, traditional Japanese mysticism and good old fashioned good versus evil, makes this movie a must see. Although if you want a movie your less alien to, try "Howls Moving Castle", a western novel based on humorous wizardly, it entails an all star cast of Christian Bale, Jean Simmons and Emily Mortimer. (Emily's father is an fascinating character, read his books!)

Basically, if you don't know, get to know.

M.F Hussian, A Genius or A Traitior?

This man, has achieved more than you can ever dream of. Known as "India Greatest Living Artist", he revolutionized art forever. Born during the the first world war, he is a man accustom to conflict and has placed into exile numerous times.

A motherless child from the age of one, he found comfort in art, and the acclaimed "J.J School of Art"in India, where he began to make a name for himself, through cartoons and cinema boardings. It was during his trips to Europe, where he made his millions, and was later quoted by TIME magazine as "the Picasso of India" by the 60's he was a key player, finding yet more acclaim with his film, "Through The Eyes Of A Painter". Recently, he has been projected back into the media limelight because of a piece called the "Raping Of India", in which it is a pastiche of the raging bulls of Pamplona, but curtailed with an India perspective. The piece of ART has caused mass hysteria and was simply a mirror to the social change occurring in India, not a base view of India society.

Sorry, ever heard of freedom of speech?

What I Iz Reading.

(Sarah Kane)

Well, being the bereft social retard I am, I often find solace in the comfort of books. And a certain book has recently caught my attention, namely in Anton Chekov's a Collection of short stories. After the advice from an acclaimed writer to "go back the classics" I found that discovering classics that were genuinely enjoyable was is bit like wading through feces to find a diamond, except the feces had long Russian names, which were often quoted by faux intelligent hipsters (i.e me).

The Bronte family are well versed, but fecking boring, unless love stories with no sex and with rapey disjointed men sends your heart racing. "On The Road" by Jack Kerouac, is interesting at best, plot-less at worst, drugs are cool, i get it, now fuck off back to San Fransisco.

But in Chekov, I found beauty and form in the prose, the judgement of rich and poor and a seemingly apathetic view of the relationships, forcing a empathetic emotional connection to his work. While reading the story beggar, I saw parallels with Sarah Kane's play 4.49 psychosis and the so called "In ya FAAACEE" nineties period of theatre, informing the ignorant that raw emotion are not solely emitted from the working youth, but are apparently a class wide phenomenon.

P.S John Updike is the world's, best perv, read his shit, who ever thought suburban middle class bonking could be so jokes.